Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Talk Nerdy To Me

My Day So Far...

State of my Hair: Excellent! (After a long stretch of "Just So-So" and "Chicago Winter Air is Trying to Destroy Me.")
Paper Cuts: 3
Cups of Coffee: 1
Tom Jones Songs Heard: 1

My day started off with me feeling inspired to finally download the Anchorman soundtrack from iTunes, and ho-ly explitive was it worth every penny! My ride/walk to work has never been so much fun! He introduces each song and it's hilarious. I kept having to bury my face down into the collar of my coat to hide my poorly suppressed, sputtering giggles. Anyone who knows me knows (or should know) that I love sexy old songs, and this album is chock full of them. If you haven't purchased it yet, run, do not walk, to your nearest music store or online mp3 source and get it NOW. Or I can burn you a copy and send it to you, I would consider it a karmic boost and totally worth the shipping costs. Oops, I didn't just write that out loud. No, I will not illegally reproduce music for you! Anyway, now I feel like eating steak and drinking scotch in a bath tub. Alas, I'm at this office instead, and they have neither steak nor bath tubs here. I checked.

So after calming down and settling in at work, I was idly filling out an endless spreadsheet I work on between tasks, when the IT guy showed up and asked if he could borrow the cart I've been using to haul boxes of paper around. I said sure, and then he also borrowed me to help him go around and collect left over pieces of computer equipment. It seemed more fun than sitting there copying and pasting lawyers' contact information into boxes, so I was happy to join him.

He's friendly and has a shaved head that's growing out, and is super nerdy yet outgoing and it was nice to have someone to talk to. He's married and I can tell he's probably a dad by the way he talks to me. He showed me the server room, offered me my choice of "really crappy" laptops, (which I declined since if they're crappy what's the point?), asked me about my life, and offered to help me snag a thesaurus I saw lying around. I have a soft spot in my heart for nerds, probably because beneath my red-blooded, womanly exterior beats the heart of a hopeless dork who drools over History Channel specials and dreams of one day owning the complete and unabridged Oxford English Dictionary.

After that I dumped about ten boxes of papers into three giant shred bins. (I didn't get to actually do the shredding myself, the bins get picked up by a company that does that.) Anyway, that's when I got the three paper cuts, and now my hands are about as dry as the underside of a galapagos tortoise's foot.

Then I ate lunch, now I'm at the receptionist's desk again. Later, I'm going to be packing up an office and binding things. A short-ish Latino custodian pushing a large cart filled with individually wrapped toilet paper rolls just walked by and said hello. He looks familiar, like a movie actor whose name I can't place. Definitely not John Leguizamo, thank goodness. His eyes light up a lot when he smiles.

I finally figured out what the hell this business does. They're consultants and I think mostly accountants, and I think they audit companies. There are a lot of mind-numbingly boring looking documents around that say the word "audit" on them, so I imagine that's what they do. The IT guy (can't remember his name!) says that he always gets bored because nobody ever really chats around here. I'm apparently allowed to install yahoo messenger and then I can chat with people around the office. Another person just said hi to me! Maybe now that they see that I'm going to be here for a few days they'll start coming around. I guess I could always introduce myself first, but this isn't a bar, it's an office where I'm still feeling out the "culture." And anyway, almost all of the girls look at me weird whenever I smile and say hi as I walk past. So I'll just let them come to me.

There are a couple of other friendly people, however. My supervisor, for one. She is a middle-aged woman who is overweight and extremely nice. Her eyes are a gorgeous green and she wears this really bright purple eye liner to bring out their color. Green and purple are two of my favorite colors, but I wish I could do her eye makeup for her some time. It would be lots of fun trying different shades against eyes like those! She calls me "honey" and "sweetie" from time to time. And she listens to country music really softly on these little speakers connected to her computer, and when I'm sitting in my cubicle sometimes I can hear her singing along! It's so sweet. She sings in this really high voice and every time I hear it I smile and type a little quieter to listen.

Anyhoo... The receptionist is also friendly to me. She printed --I just took a call and transferred it properly without any mistakes for the first time! Huzzah!-- out an article for a friend of hers here at work entitled "How to Tell If He's Only Interested In You for Sex," and had me read it too. It's always good to be prepared, so I did read it and now know all ten warning signs against those awful players. You would think they'd at least have the maturity to say up-front, "This is only a sex thing," so we at least have the choice to go into it with our eyes open. But anyway, that's a post for another day. Or not, I hope! ; )

All right, I've rambled on enough. It's foggy downtown but actually relatively warm at 30°F (plus wind chill) and a fresh layer of snow that's mostly melted off by now. I have to race home from work to deposit a paycheck at the bank and then I have to go to the library to pick up my reserved copy of Gone With the Wind. Yes, I've finally decided to read it. All 1,000+ pages of Old South, Civil War, Scarlett + Rhett 4 Ever glory. I'm going through a southern writers phase (I blame the cold weather) and am supposed to be reading As I Lay Dying at the moment, but find it rather depressing, as the title would suggest. However, it's supposed to be good so I'll stick with it. What was it Mark Twain once said? “A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.”

Two random things I saw/overheard yesterday but forgot to write down:
1. A man dressed all in black feeding a black pigeon in an alley.
2. Two girls talking to each other walked by me and I heard one say to the other, "You know that smell when you blow out a match?" It was funny at the time but I fear it may have lost its charm in written form.

OK enough torturing the internet. I think I can get a couple more good spins out of this office chair before this lady comes back from lunch.


  1. I just reread GWTW last year. It's a great book!

  2. I'm glad you are going to read my obsession :)

    I love the sequel as well... but it isn't written by Margaret Mitchell, but I love just the same.

    Just read your post on Iceland. You are the elf queen YAY